


Wanting

by theskywasblue



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-29
Updated: 2010-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskywasblue/pseuds/theskywasblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ishida watches, and sees something he doesn't expect</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [atainh88](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=atainh88).



She shouldn't be beautiful, Ishida thinks. She's too rough – coarse and loud – not, ill-mannered, really, but opinionated, not the least bit shy.

She shouldn't be the one who draws his eye; she is never what he ever thought she wanted. She would certainly shun him, he thinks – she has far too much pride to fall into anything easily, and there are a fair number of boys already who have her in their sights. It's their own sort of pride, Ishida thinks – they want to overcome her, in one way or another, pin her down. Her power, her strength and self-assurance, are intimidating; even Ishida won't deny that to himself.

He wonders how she came by it, how such a small, plain girl became possessed of enough personality and presence to fill a room, how she can bear having so much attention focused on her. Though Ishida can be accused of having a great deal of pride, the truth is that it's very much a mask – combined deception. He has very little to be proud of, when it comes right down to it.

Maybe that's why.

She's sharp, and fierce, and there isn't a trace of doubt in her that Ishida can ever see. Her confidence is like the light, it's like the air – ever present – and it fills up those around her, comforts and strengthens them. He can see it in Inoue's eyes when the two are talking and laughing over shaved ice, in Ichigo's eyes when they bicker as only friends can.

He can't be blamed, really, for wanting to share in something like that, can he?

Ishida doesn't think about it often, because it doesn't mean anything, and it doesn't count for anything, and if it weren't for Ichigo – who is like a vortex pulling everything around towards a single, central point – largely so he can alternately control and protect it – or Inoue, who doesn't understand the basics of the social hierarchy and that not everyone need be friends with everyone else for the world to keep turning – Ishida wouldn't really even know who Tatsuki _is_. She would be yet another anonymous face in the halls, a name traded amongst the school jocks – and wherever Ishida stands or does not stand in the school's pecking order, it is certainly not in the least with the jocks – and he might have passed her in the hallways once or twice in his entire lifetime, but it wouldn't mean anything _to_ him.

Except now he's watching, always watching, and thinking far too hard – studying even, because that's what people do with things they don't understand, they _study_ and they puzzle out until everything makes sense and everything fits the way it should.

And no matter how long he studies her, she still doesn't fit; nothing about her, or the way he thinks of her constantly – a low hum in the back of his mind – makes any sense.

She's graceful, confident, strong, and the truth is, even though she shouldn't be beautiful, he cannot deny that she is.

-End-


End file.
